Our Year in the Desert: A Reflection

 

Our Year in the Desert: A Reflection

Smith Rock

After a year here in the desert, I am so happy to say that the Lord has seen fit to send us back home to Brookings! We are in the process of packing up and Lord willing we'll be out of here in less than a week! In all of the busy-ness and mess it's been very necessary for me to rise early and have a little quiet in the mornings. Today as I was asking and praying, the Lord reminded me some of the fruit that came from this year in the desert, and I wanted to write it down so I don’t forget it.

This year has not been a time out. We were not plopped down in the desert and left alone. No. He has been here with us, working in a new way. A way that we would not have had time for if we had been busy with our old lives. But in the solitude and forced quiet, with all that has been stripped away, we have been able to see the things that were lacking in ourselves and our lives. It has been a year of painful reflections. Often whispered to by the enemy of my soul, at times I've felt so torn down and beat up when reminded of what a miserable person I have been. I've had to learn to speak truth to myself when those times come and to take every thought captive. I am still working on that, but it has gotten easier.

God has been so good to always remind me that HE is bigger than all of that, and that none of it matters anymore. That was my old life, the old person who is no more. And that it's actually good, for I can’t glory in my flesh or be boastful about God’s blessings when I remember how weak I was. I can’t cling to the things of this world if I remember where they lead me to. To God be the glory for every good thing in my life, because it certainly was not me!

This year I rejected doubts about who I am and focused instead on asking God to show me who He is. I saw the "iron" that the Lord has placed in my life and began to allow it to sharpen me instead of fighting it and trying to get away. I repented. Before this year in the desert, the tickle had turned to a rash in some situations and relationships; now I pray thanks for the trials and challenges that are before me. It was necessary to learn to die to myself again and again, laying down my rights and trusting that God is my justifier and guides my path.

This year I spent more time holding my husband. Listening to him, loving him. It's amazing how much the quiet times profit a marriage. Above everything I feel like this year was a gift to Jeff and I.

This year I learned that worship is something that happens in my spirit, not something that happens at an appointed time when a church group gets together. And that when I live to worship God, the world is bright and full of purpose, even when my circumstances seem dim.

In this past year, I've done real battle with my past and my fears. They have been stumbling blocks to me and I'm sure that they could be again. I always think of that song. That when I am fixing my eyes on Him, "the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace." And that is really true! I remembered that this year in the desert.

So, so many other things too. I pray that they stay with me always and that I don't have to re-learn what the Lord has taught me. As we look toward this new season of life, I pray that He will be magnified in our family. Worshipped, glorified, emulated, and pleased.